The Cost of US Military Expenditures

From: MilitaryEducation.org

Queries on Listening

I was asked to share some queries for Sunrise Friends Meeting this month and thought I'd also share them here. :)

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Preparing some queries has been an interesting, wonderful and sometimes confusing experience for me. (I wasn't quite sure what I was doing!) It was a rich experience to read lots of traditional queries, the writings of other Friends about how queries could be incorporated into worship, and the experiences of others. And the input that Josh and Mike shared was most meaningful to me. 

Mike invited me to reflect on the connections between our values/testimonies with our worship, and particularly with our love of silence. The image of "toward teeming" or "flowing toward a center" stuck with me, and it reminded me of Jesus' words that, "He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, 'From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'" 

Josh invited me to look deeply into love, how a boundless love is cultivated and shared, and how understanding and love are united together. I really loved the image of using queries as a way to 'open up a space' "between thoughts, and slowing reactions/presumptions." And I saw a strong connection between that kind of openness and the possibility of love in community. 

As I started the process of what queries to choose, I reflected on the process itself. If I had to choose one word to summarize Quaker life and worship, it would be listening. Listening is what I am consciously doing when I come to Meeting for Worship. Listening is what I am consciously doing when I reflect on decisions in my own life in relation to my values and relationships with others. And it is what I was unconsciously doing when I wanted to choose a query. Listening is what brings me to treasure silence, to open myself up to my own experience and the experience of others. Listening, for me, cannot be separated from love. 

So, with gratitude, I have a few queries about listening this morning.

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“In Compassionate Listening, we do not seek to change those who share with us, we seek only to love them. The more people are loved, the more freedom they have to respond to their own inner truth-which may or may not prompt movement. The only change we can be assured of going into it is that if we truly listen to our fellow human beings, we ourselves will be changed. As a listener, you are taking on the role not of judge or mediator, but of healer.”

- From “Compassionate Listening as Practiced in Alaska” by Cynthia Monroe

Self:

*How has your practice of silence influenced how you listen to and interact with your own experience, whether it be delightful, boring or painful?  

*Recall an experience when someone listened to you without judging. What was the impact of that kind of listening?

Community:

*What is the role of listening when we gather together? 

*How is listening related to change, individually and as a community?

Society:

*In a society that seeks to 'banish the silence,' how can we offer the healing power of listening to others?

Green Washing

I still haven't written up my reflection on why simple, sustainable living is one of the key values reflected in this blog. (Never mind that, I haven't been writing much of anything for quite some time!) And instead of trying to do that as a preface to this post, I'll just say that I find daily practices and routines that reflect that value to be really satisfying and enjoyable. So when I write about ways to reduce the ecological impacts of doing my laundry, it's with a smile on my face. :)

It's no secret that a great way to reduce your household carbon footprint is to 1) switch to cold water when you wash your clothes, 2) use only the necessary amount of detergent and 3) hang your clothes out to dry.   #1 is really the biggest energy saver - it takes about 3 times the electricity to use hot water in the wash as it does to run the dryer. Doing away with both is significant - the estimates I'm familiar with say you'll cut about 600 kilograms of carbon emissions by doing laundry without hot water or the dryer.

This hasn't been a hardship for us over the years, but it used to get tricky when the weather didn't cooperate (I never mastered the art of freeze drying the laundry). These days I really enjoy using a hanging rack, and I found one that I like so much that I actually wanted to recommend it: the *insert trumpet fanfare here* Moerman Laundry Solutions Y-Airer Indoor Folding Clothes Drying Rack. It easily holds a full load of laundry (3 people), works great inside or out, and folds up so compactly that it slides between our washer and dryer. (At Amazon HERE)

We also hand washed for many years, which takes off another 90 kg or so a year. I also enjoyed the rhythm of this chore, even when it was washing around 20 diapers a day! :) Our faithful Rapid Washer even made the trip with us to Cambodia, where it finally entered its rest due to rust (at Lehman's HERE). We replaced it with the plastic model (HERE), which won't ever rust (but I still miss our Rapid Washer, perhaps due more to nostalgia than to any real advantage). I usually use these in a 5 gallon bucket and have always been really satisfied with how clean our clothes get with this method.

There are other considerations besides just water usage and carbon footprint, chief among which may be highlighted in a recent study of microplastic pollution. Basically, our synthetic materials are shedding in the wash and entering the ecosystems around us at alarmingly high rates. I'm really thinking about some of the items in my wardrobe and keeping an eye out for better understandings of the impacts:

"'Polyester is heavier than water and pollutes bottom sediments where most marine life lives,' he says. Once in the marine system, they get taken up by filter feeders like clams, mussels, and small fish like anchovies, sardines, etc., which are then eaten by larger fish. 

"That concerns Browne too. His work with shellfish has shown that once ingested by animals, microplastic can be taken up and stored by tissues and cells. This bioaccumulation of pollutants can have negative consequences for wildlife and humans. 

"Courtney Arthur, research coordinator with NOAA Marine Debris Program, says the issue is on NOAA's radar, and expects research on microplastics and the effects on marine life to be a hot topic among scientists over the next few years. But for now, she says, the bottom line is still unclear. 

"'We don't know the extent of injury at this point. We do know some marine animals ingest plastics, even down to mollusks like mussels and clams. We know it's possible they could be accumulating in the food chain,' says Arthur. 'All spectrum of marine life has the potential to take in these small particles, but at this point, it's hard to say how much harm is being done.'" (at Grist, HERE, and more HERE at Ecouterre)

Happy washing!

Never Whole

It was sometime in 1997 that I started reading Wendell Berry. Kenneth introduced me to him, and we would speed walk/race to the 'B' section at Moe's Bookstore in Berkeley to get first chance at the current selection of used books. Berry had an enormous influence on me and his ideas were a big part of a series of decisions to move back to my roots in Missouri and eventually to a farm. Our goal was quite explicit. We were joining friends there to live and work side by side in community. That experiment didn't go as planned (of course), but it was wonderful to me.

Still, we moved to town after only about a year. Then we moved a few miles farther away. Then we moved to Cambodia. Back in Missouri for over a year now, I've been reflecting on how the question of community has followed me everywhere I go.

Which is why I started with Berry.

I haven't read much by Berry in a long time, but I remember him: fragments of poems, the arrangement of words on a page, his ideas debated and adapted in my mind. Other people and ideas influenced me, but it was Berry's voice that articulated what was closest to my own heart and mind. His poem about marriage became a lens through which I viewed the unfolding of community inside and around me:

"It is to be broken. It is to be
torn open. It is not to be
reached and come to rest in
ever. I turn against you,
I break from you, I turn to you.
We hurt, and are hurt,
and have each other for healing.
It is healing. It is never whole."
(HERE at Google Books)

Looking back, I see how my quest for community led directly to my growing involvement in the conflict transformation and restorative justice movements. And all along the way, Berry's words have followed me like a shadow:

"It is healing. It is never whole."

May everyone be released from all suffering!

Talking to Children

I've been meaning to write this post since Lisa Bloom's piece, "How to Talk to Little Girls," was posted last June (you can read it HERE). In a society where children have become prime targets for advertisement and all the socialization and commercialization that this entails, Lisa's point was both  wonderfully important and relevant to all children:

"Try this the next time you meet a little girl. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Ask her what she's reading. What does she like and dislike, and why? There are no wrong answers. You're just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand? You may get some intriguing answers. Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does."

Lisa was encouraging this in the face of all the pressures on little girls to conform to an socially defined image -

"15 to 18 percent of girls under 12 now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and 25 percent of young American women would rather win America's Next Top Model than the Nobel Peace Prize. Even bright, successful college women say they'd rather be hot than smart."

And you can tell similar stories for boys, whether it's a pressure to encourage them to participate in rough sports, hunting, violent games and the like, or to discourage them from crying, wearing pink, painting their nails, studying ballet, learning to sew, or exhibiting other 'soft' traits. And that's not even getting into the difficult territory of what happens if gender norms are actually transgressed or you are parenting a child who doesn't want to conform. Speaking from my experience as a boy growing up and now as a father parenting a son, the pressures can be huge and the consequences devastating.

Steven Wineman has described the impact of this kind of gender socialization in this way -

Males are oppressed, victimized, and traumatized primarily during childhood. Feminism correctly identifies boyhood as a period of training and socialization into the role of dominant and into predatory behavior. But childhood is also a period of immense vulnerability during which boys are oppressed and traumatized in ways and to an extent that is typically ignored across the spectrum of political and social analysis. While I will argue that some types of traumatization also occur during adulthood for men, childhood is the primary arena in which males are oppressed and traumatized by patriarchy. The victimization of boys stands alongside - and in many ways is critical for understanding - the dominant roles of men. (SOURCE)

In other words, we treat (and allow children to be treated) in this way because that is what keeps the system of domination going. And this is what makes Lisa Bloom's point so important to me: we need to learn to talk with children and be with children in such a way that shows them respect, that shows them we care, that embodies the values of compassion over consumption, and that gives them a chance to learn a different way - before they are convinced that there is no other way.

Yet this is exactly why having these kinds of conversations can be difficult and requires a few things that are more than a little counter-cultural in themselves. Here are some ideas that I've found aren't always acceptable, especially when it comes to their concrete expressions:

• Children have something to say worth hearing. Children are worth my time.
• Listening to a child is as important as speaking to a child. 
• Understanding their experiences is at least as important as directing their experiences. 
• I can learn from a child. 
• Treating a child with respect is important, especially if I want them to treat others with respect. 
• Learning is wonderful, and learning with a child (and watching them learn) is exciting and fun. 
• A child's purpose in life is NOT to be a consumer, but to grow into a complete human being. 

The list could go on. There's a lot of cultural inertia that can make it hard for us to slow down and connect. The result is that we often miss the moments and the accumulation of moments that represent the best opportunity for us to make a real and lasting difference in the world.

Our children are constantly learning. What they learn from us is from watching us and talking with us. Often those moments come when we don't expect them, from birth to adolescence: brushing teeth, doing chores, throwing tantrums, eating dinner, coping with disappointments, running errands, getting ready for bed, and taking care of all the little pieces of life. Those moments are all important, as are the conversations that happen in the midst of them. Lisa Bloom took a moment to transform a before-bedtime conversation into something wonderful, but she had to make a conscious decision to do so. And that's an important piece of the puzzle: we've all been socialized, too. It takes a conscious decision, again and again.

Talking with our children in ways that show reciprocity, respect, compassion and care is a path of freedom. But it's not just our children's happiness and freedom that is at stake: it is our own.

I Go to Walk at Twilight (a found poem)

Now, long after starlight,
I see some of those
high-pillared clouds
of the day, still

reflecting a downy light
in the midst of
the deepening shadows
of the night.

The dorbugs hum around me
as I sit on the river-bank
beyond the ash tree.
Warm is the night.

There is a low arc
of a circle, in the north.
The twilight ends and
there is no moon. 

***

I've always enjoyed composing found poems. This one, which I composed last August, is from the journal of Henry David Thoreau, the entry of 12 July 1852. (Available as a pdf HERE)

Homeschooling

Last year I made a big transition, becoming a stay-at-home, homeschooling dad. I've been meaning to post something about it for quite some time, but I keep finding that I have so much I'd like to say that it's hard to find time to get it all organized. So here it goes, without really getting it straight in my head before letting the rambling begin. ;)

We had always entertained the option of homeschooling, but our choice was initially more practical: we moved to Cambodia as John was due to enter kindergarten. The choice was pretty simple then, where options, big adjustments, and finances all made homeschooling an obvious choice. But why now, when back in the USA?

To be clear, it wasn't because we hate the public schools. In fact, I worked for 3 semesters in the public school system as a remedial reading/math tutor for 3rd and 4th graders - and loved it. There were things I thought should be changed, but, on the whole, it was a great experience. And a few of the teachers were incredibly inspiring. Similarly, our choice was not religiously motivated. (If you are unsure of what I mean by this, peruse "Homeschooling Blindspots," HERE, to get a glimpse of this subculture.)

No, we chose homeschooling because we thought it was the best option for providing a good education for our son (now in grade 4). We had two main questions when considering our options: 1) what option is most likely to give our child the most (and most appropriate) opportunities to learn? and 2) what option is most likely to develop a lifelong love of learning? And I'm writing now because of some recent articles that provide some good examples of why we thought "Homeschool" was the best answer to both of those questions.*

1. Individualized Instruction

A recent study comparing homeschooled and public schooled children showed that

"Structured homeschooling may offer opportunities for academic performance beyond those typically experienced in public schools," says first author Sandra Martin-Chang, a professor in the Concordia Department of Education, noting this is among the first nonpartisan studies to investigate home education versus public schooling. 

Published in the Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science, the investigation compared 74 children living in Nova Scotia and New Brunswick: 37 who were homeschooled versus 37 who attended public schools. Participants were between 5 and 10 years old and each child was asked to complete standardized tests, under supervision of the research team, to assess their reading, writing, arithmetic skills, etc. 

"Although public school children we assessed were performing at or above expected levels for their ages, children who received structured homeschooling had superior test results compared to their peers: From a half-grade advantage in math to 2.2 grade levels in reading," says Martin-Chang. "This advantage may be explained by several factors including smaller class sizes, more individualized instruction, or more academic time spent on core subjects such as reading and writing." (SOURCE)

Although I have some concerns about this study, I have found that the individualized instruction possible in homeschooling has the double benefit of teaching to the student's strengths and matching instruction to the student's development. We could move ahead quickly in certain subjects that John enjoyed and excelled in while going slow with others. School becomes less frustrating and more enjoyable.

2. Missing Content 

Individualized instruction combined with many fewer time restraints (e.g., classroom discipline) also frees up more time for learning. My experience in the public school classroom (as a student and as a teacher) showed me that there are some very natural time constraints that come from managing and teaching a large group of students that disappear in the homeschool environment. But of more pressing concern are the gaps in the curriculum.

The lack of understanding of basic science concepts (like evolution) was, I confess,  a primary motivator for me to homeschool. The situation, as described in a study I quoted in my post, "Hindering Scientific Literacy" (HERE), is very difficult:

The researchers examined data from the National Survey of High School Biology Teachers, a representative sample of 926 public high school biology instructors. They found only about 28 percent of those teachers consistently implement National Research Council recommendations calling for introduction of evidence that evolution occurred, and craft lesson plans with evolution as a unifying theme linking disparate topics in biology.  

In contrast, Berkman and Plutzer found that about 13 percent of biology teachers "explicitly advocate creationism or intelligent design by spending at least one hour of class time presenting it in a positive light." Many of these teachers typically rejected the possibility that scientific methods can shed light on the origin of the species, and considered both evolution and creationism as belief systems that cannot be fully proven or discredited.  

Berkman and Plutzer dubbed the remaining teachers the "cautious 60 percent," who are neither strong advocates for evolutionary biology nor explicit endorsers of nonscientific alternatives. "Our data show that these teachers understandably want to avoid controversy," they said. (SOURCE)

And last week the Southern Poverty Law Center released a study, Teaching the Movement (HERE), that documents how well public schools in the USA teach about the civil rights movement. The results were really dismal:

Among other things, the study found that:

• A shocking number of states—35—received grades of “F”; 

• Sixteen of those states, where local officials set specific policies and requirements for their school districts, have no requirements at all for teaching about the movement; 

•  Only three states received a grade of “A”—Alabama, New York and Florida—and even these states have considerable room for improvement; and 

•  Generally speaking, the farther away from the South—and the smaller the African-American population—the less attention paid to the movement. 

“For too many students their civil rights education boils down to two people and four words: Rosa Parks, Dr. King and ‘I have a dream,’” said Maureen Costello, the director of Teaching Tolerance. “When 43 states adopted Common Core Standards in English and math, they affirmed that rigorous standards were necessary for achievement. By having weak or non-existent standards for history, particularly for the civil rights movement, they are saying loud and clear that it isn’t something students should learn.” (SOURCE)

Missouri was one of the states earning an "F." (You can see Missouri's report card HERE, find your own state HERE, or test your own knowledge HERE.) From my own career as a student in Missouri public schools, I can tell you that I learned very little about the civil rights movement. And looking at the 400+ page textbook we are using to study Missouri history this year, just about two pages (and one photo) are given to the topic.

This is NOT to say that I think every subject has to be covered in a certain way. I am much more interested in John learning and loving to learn than simply checking off a list of compulsory topics. But there are certain topics that are crucial, I think, to learning and loving to learn. So I'm not too worried if John learns about Ruby Bridges and not Rosa Parks, but his experience of American History is terribly incomplete without learning about the Civil Rights Movement.

 Okay, that's enough for now. I've said more than most of you probably are interested in reading and not enough to really address the topic. But it's a start. :)

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*This isn't to say that there aren't other advantages to homeschooling. For example, I spent a LOT of time away at work from John's birth to age 5. And although I've always had a strong bond with him, I missed a lot of things. I LOVE getting the extra time with John now. We are having a lot of fun and building an even stronger bond. But I would not, under normal circumstances, choose homeschooling because I wanted more time with my son.